Here’s something we don’t talk about enough. That’s how financial anxiety can increase our stress levels and limit our midlife life options. A 2021 paper published in the journal American Psychologist points out that a combination of increased fiscal pressures, shrinking social safety nets, and increases in mental and physical health problems, especially mental and physical health problems (all of which are interconnected), warned of the negative impact. Frankly, this is not your parents’ or grandparents’ midlife experience. It’s much messier and more unstable.
Many middle-aged women feel financially unstable
It’s no wonder that there is great anxiety, especially among middle-aged women, about the financial consequences of aging. There are many things that make me anxious. It’s true that women reaching midlife today are more likely than their mothers and grandmothers to have full-time jobs outside the home, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re in a stronger economic position. does not mean.
A few years ago, I had the opportunity to interview 118 middle-aged women about their lives and experiences. (I was researching my 2022 book Navigating The Messy Middle: A Fiercely Honest and Wildly Encouraging Guide for Midlife Women.) I was surprised that so many people had a taboo on it, considering there is still a very strong taboo on it. Five of my interviewees were willing to talk about money worries. The important lesson for me is that it’s not just women who are in dire financial straits who are worried about their financial future. Even women who have a good job and have built some savings for the future tend to find themselves asking the same unsettling question over and over again: “Can I really make a living out of this?”
“I don’t allow myself to think about it.”
Of course, some women are so anxious that they can’t even think about the reality of their financial situation. I’m thinking about a conversation I had with a 42-year-old woman named Emily. She said that when it comes to money, she tends to want to bury her head in the sand. “I know there’s not enough money there,” she said, referring to retirement savings accounts. “If you look at the trajectory of that money, it’s heading straight toward eating cat food when you’re 90 years old. I don’t allow myself to think about it.”
feel angry, misunderstood, or guilty
Some of the women I spoke to said they felt angry and misunderstood, as if they had been sold a gift certificate to an aspirational midlife lifestyle that only a privileged few could achieve. Some people did.
Others must have made many bad mistakes along the way to find themselves in such dire straits financially, when in fact they were dealing with systemic problems. They misjudged and quickly pivoted to a place of self-blame (e.g. the fact that women still do the lion’s share of caregiving work, or a series of unfortunate curveballs. , we talked about business failures or bankruptcies, job losses, personal health crises, family health crises, and having to take time off from work to care for others (usually children or elderly parents). There are many different types of situations that can jeopardize a midlife woman’s financial well-being, and one type of crisis can snowball into another (for example, in relationships). (such as having to change jobs or sell their family home due to bankruptcy).
Some middle-aged women who have spent the better part of 20 years raising children have expected that once their children grow up and leave home, the financial pressures associated with raising children will ease. told me that they noticed that their children were now young adults. Still, some financial support was needed.
It’s a daunting and very worrying situation. The need to maintain the financial livelihoods of their young adult children can force middle-aged parents to withdraw from or tap into their own retirement savings. I would like to add that it is not the parents or children doing anything wrong. Given the rising cost of living, especially housing, it is becoming increasingly difficult for young people to become financially independent, which is also putting pressure on parents.
There are many things to think about and worry about, and there are no easy answers to them. But being willing to acknowledge and discuss the extent of the challenge is an important first step. Policymakers need to know that the current generation of middle-aged adults is grappling with crushing economic pressures.
In other words, you’re not alone.
