Dear Dave: My wife and I have no debt and live on a shoestring budget. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, uses her credit card for almost all her purchases. She overreached several times and ended up with a balance she couldn’t pay off. We bail her out if she does something like this, but the additional purchases are often frivolous things she doesn’t need. Of course we love our wife and feel obligated to help her as she is our only child. However, her behavior regarding credit cards is starting to put a strain on our finances. What should I do? — Charles
Dear Charles: This is a tough situation, but it is made even tougher by the fact that it involves a close and loving family member. We need a very frank but thoughtful discussion. But it needs to be initiated by your wife, not you. This is important. Because if you try to intervene and lead things, you will quickly become a mean son-in-law in her eyes.
You and your wife need to be completely on the same page about this situation, but it’s the wife who needs to approach mom and discuss things. She needs to sit down with her mom and gently let her know that the two of you have talked it over and have decided that you are no longer interested in her spending habits. Also, your wife needs to let you know that the two of you will work together to help her manage her finances a little better, and that she will show you how to create a monthly budget and live her life. there is. Your wife could also explain that that’s what you guys do and that’s one of the reasons your financial situation is so good.
The conclusion is: If you knew she was an addict, you wouldn’t buy her any more drugs, would you? Similarly, bailing her out every time she has money problems won’t help this woman. By doing this, you are giving her permission, which is the same as telling her it’s okay.
Work with her, Charles. You both should teach her and love her. Let her know you are here to help. If things get really bad, you can also pay her utility bills or buy groceries if the pantry is a little empty. I hope it doesn’t become that serious.
But one thing needs to be made clear. You guys no longer bail her out when she cheats with money. — Dave
Dave Ramsey is a national bestselling author, personal finance expert, and host of The Ramsey Show, heard by more than 20 million listeners each week. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CBS Morning, The Today Show, Fox News, CNN, Fox Business, and more. Since 1992, Dave has been helping people take back control of their money, build wealth, and improve their lives. He is also the CEO of a company called Ramsey Solutions.